Coming back late to the dormitory was not rare for Jinhwan. He spent most of his nights out, trying to fit himself in the society. Being a boy who loves to dress like a woman was not a thing to do in South Korea. Most people were not enough open minded to accept something like this. And instead of trying to understand, they just laughed or even worst humiliated the one who attempted to be himself. Jinhwan was one of these persons who believed in good in people. He genuinely thought that every human being was able to understand what he was but most of them did not even try because they feared the unknown. So, after a while, he stopped to make an effort and just be himself without even trying to explain who he was. He was a boy who loved women clothes because his mum wasted thirteen of his years trying to turn him into Jinah, his dead twin sister. But after some times, after someone humiliated him, Nana ceased to be his sister and began to be himself. Except for one thing, his love for the clothes made originally for the other sex. Jinhwan kept wearing female outfits mostly at night because it was simple for him to hide his masculine identity. So, coming home late was part of the plan. Like that, nobody could see him and mocked him. Tonight, he went back a little bit earlier than the other nights because he was tired and did not even check if there was someone. Usually, the boy was alone, so he did not take any precautions. He removed his wig, thinking he was the only one up in the Pyobeom dormitory, but a noise made him gasp in fear. He turned around quickly to see a girl looking at him and his wig. Jinhwan opened his mouth to talk but nothing came out. He was like a mute with no words and just his fear to be mock again.

Once again, she is there, in this kitchen. Washing the dishes, putting them properly in the cupboard. Always the same, almost every night. She isn’t able to sleep, till she knows that everything is clean in the dormitory. Sometimes, she is spending all of her night, cleaning up the common parts, sometimes, she’s just handling with her own room, and the usual disorder coming from her roommates. It’s difficult for her to stay there, doing nothing, thinking about those years being a real cinderella for her mother. She was the kind of person who was only thinking about herself, her own pleasure. She never wanted to have a child, but after one more night with a stranger, she had to handle this news. She was pregnant, and unable to know who was the father. No one knows exactly why she keeps this little girl, but finally, she found a reason to do it. Cause in the end, Khee became the housekeeper, at the time she was able to make it. Almost twenty years, believing in the fact that it was normal, that everyone was living the same routine. She had to wait till high school, to understand that she was the only one going through this. But, everything stayed. Even after months of living her own life, far away from her mother, she kept these habits. She became a maniac, obsessed with property. And that’s why, finally, she is still there, cleaning instead of sleeping. Like usual, she waits till midnight, or around, to go to the common parts, and store properly the food, the dishes. She didn’t expect to be disturbed, thinking that everyone was in bed. She didn’t need that much time to go to the entrance, a rag in her hand, and check what’s happening. We could see the surprise on her face, being face to face with another pyobeom, with a wig in his hands. « Oh… » she didn’t know what to say, how to act at this point. But it was easy to see that she isn’t judging what she sees. A young man, hearing womenswear. « I’m sorry, I didn’t expect to see someone at that time… » and truly she was, sorry.

Being seen like this was a little bit disturbing for him. He didn’t except anybody to be up at this time of the night. Usually he was alone. Maybe it was because he went home earlier than the other day, but he was incredibly surprised. He just gasped, wig in his hand, trying to find a plausible explanation. But there was none. How could he possibly explain why was wearing a wig and some feminine clothes ? Nobody would understand and he would be just mock again and again for who he was. He could not come up with something good, so he just stayed in front of her, without saying anything. It was her word that waked him up and he blushed, putting back his wig. Jinhwan was so stressed that he putted it backward. « Shit ! » The insult just slipped out of his mouth without him even realised it. Ordinary he wasn’t particular vulgar, but in this kind of situation, it was the only thing that came in his mind. Nana removed once again the fake hairs and looked at the girl, really looked at her, for the first time. He didn’t notice any sign of judgement in her eyes. She was just standing there, a rag in her hand. She looked like she was about to clean, or she was cleaning. « Same here. I thought I’ll be alone. Usually, there isn’t anybody up when I come home. » But today was an exception. She was up and she saw everything. Jinhwan began to panic and his eyes started to look everywhere except her. « Please don’t talk about what you saw. I don’t want anybody to know about that… I don’t want problems. » Je just wanted to have a normal life, a life where he could be the one he wanted. A life where nobody could hurt him by telling him he was a fool, a crazy bastard or worst a monster. He wasn’t born like this. His mum made him like this.

She was incredibly surprised, being seen with this rag in her hand, cleaning the house. Usually, she was the first to take precautions, sure that no one was there before going to clean and store everything. But tonight was different, and by seeing the face of the other person in front of her, she was understanding that this surprise was shared. Maybe not in the best way, but it was. She didn’t really know what to do, what to say. She was just chewing her lip, her eyes looking everywhere else. Maybe she just needed to see that there were only them, in the entrance. A laugh came through her mouth, embarrassed while looking at him. « Sure, it’s the best moment on the day. When everyone is sleeping. » Looking at him once again, she wasn’t judging, even if at that moment, it was difficult for her to understand why he chooses to wear himself like this. But she didn’t want to ask anything, probably afraid of his reaction. She became quite anxious, when he started to panic, telling her those things, she wasn’t sure to comprehend exactly his attitude. Her hands in front of her, she was about to panic too. « Oh no, no! That’s okay, really! I … I will keep it for myself, i promise ! » She was hoping he’d believe her, but her reaction wasn’t the best from her own point of view. Trying to bounce back, she straightened up, and offered him a smile. « That’s okay, you can do whatever you want, you know… I’m not here to judge you, really. » It would be the top of it, allowing herself to judge him, while she was the first one to hide herself to clean perfectly everything for the other ones. She didn’t want the others to know that she was a maniac, that was a real problem for her. Maybe it was a chance for her, it was the first time she was caught, and she would be able to find an excuse. But if the situation happened again, she wasn't sure to be able to hide this much longer.

He thought he would have been alone. But he was wrong to think like this. A girl was up, and she saw everything. And far from judging him, she was also surprised to see someone at this hour of the night. he nodded when she agreed with him. The night was the best time to be himself because a few people or nobody could see what he was trying to hide so hard. The Korean society, and more general the world, was not ready for him to show that side of his personality. He liked to wear feminine clothes because of his mum. For thirteen years he had to pretend to be his twin sister Jinah and the habits stayed even after he revealed the truth to his mum. Now, he spent more time dress like this when everyone is asleep. But she wasn’t and she saw him. Jinhwan, immediately, asked her to keep the secret. He panicked. Nobody knew that secret and he didn’t anybody to know. The judgement and the mockeries already sent him in hell when he was in Busan. Nana didn’t want to live that again, not when he finally found a place where he could be a little bit himself. « Promise it… » begged the pyobeom. He didn’t believe her because she wasn’t her friend nor a person he knew. Maybe she just said that to make him trust her and the mocked him behind his back with her friends. That could happen. « You’re not surprised and you don’t judge me ? Why ? » Jinhwan didn’t understand why she was like that. She seemed kind and understanding. He was so shocked and a little bit surprised as well. Maybe not everybody was a jerk on this earth. Maybe there were some good people, people willingly ready to accept him.

She used to be kind with others, at all times. It’s been a long time now, that she understood that she was different. Quite weird for some. In high school, she had to handle some people mocking her, while she was always putting her stuff on the same way on her table. Having trouble when things weren’t at their place. She worked on it, for a long time. It was more to hide this part of herself, but also, to show to others that she was like them. Even if she wasn’t. She just wanted the others to believe she was normal. Spending her time to hide herself could be tough sometimes, but since she arrived at the university, she believed she could. But tonight, in front of him, doubts started to come out. Luckily, she saw quickly that finally, she wasn’t the only one to hide something. She was able to understand how he could feel at that time, in some ways. And definitely, she preferred to stay focus on him, not on what she was doing. « I promise you. » she repeated, more confident. Her look talked for herself, he could believe her. She will never talk about it with someone else if he doesn’t want to. Surprised by his question, she pursed her lips, stayed there without saying anything for a few seconds. « You can do whatever you want. I don’t really care about the way you wear yourself. » Maybe she spoke too fast, without thinking about how he could react. « I mean, who am i to judge you ? » Her voice was meant to be shy, in a certain way. But truly, she was sincere in her words, hoped that he could see it that way. « I’m sure you’re a good person. Your clothes must stay just … clothes ? » It was her point of view, finally. Even if her mom didn't gave her any education, she used to think like this, after living those mockeries during her childhood. It was like someone was judging her because she used to clean everything all the time - even if she was hiding this part of herself as much as she could. She didn’t want this part of herself being the only thing people see, and was doing the same with others.